Fun with Nurses -- sorry not that kind. ;-)

If you spend ANY amount of time in a hospital you know that your wrist ID is bar-coded. Staff is instructed to ask you your name and date of birth after they scan the thang and before they do ANY procedure or give any meds.

This gets old about the sixth time.  I had one really great nurse, so one morning when she scanned me, she asked the usual question: “What’s your name; what’s your date of birth.”  Of course my response was: “Margaret Thatcher”.  Later in the day it was “Princess Diana”.   (Hmm, picking dead people…)

So I have complied the following list should I find myself in the same situation with a really rockin’ nurse.  Just to see how far I can go with it. ‘cause I’m a shit like that.

1.        4 pack Sylvan 100 watt light bulbs.

2.       “The Danger”   (you Br Ba fans know what I’m sayin’ here.)

3.       12 ounce Dole sliced peaches in heavy syrup

4.       Troybuilt 2000 series replacement gearshift knob: $12.99

5.       Really?  (insert real name? Still?”)

6.       Roget’s Thesaurus

7.       22 pound premium bird seed.

8.       I’m Jesus Christ!  (no offense ya’ll, but that there’s funny)

9.       Ganymede

10.   Live feeder mice 3 @ $1.75 *

*this one should at least elicit either a “Dufug?” OR a visit from the psych MD on duty.

Have fun!