Thursday, August 4, 2016

More lies


Aromatase Inhibitors have not been approved by the FDA to prevent re-recurrence of breast cancer. Something else my oncologist forgot to mention. And the joint pain is unbearable, but I have to stick it out until 2018.

http://ww5.komen.org/BreastCancer/AromataseInhibitors.html

How about the flamin' truth up front: "The chemo and radiation are going to age you at least five years. And you will spend the rest of your life coping with crap like not being about to get out of bed until an hour after you've taken NSAIDS, which will cook either your kidneys, or your liver, depending on the drug."

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

I don't miss my friend Alice's breasts, you fools


I miss my friend Alice. Her children and family and friends miss her. She never got to meet her son and daughter-in-law or her grandchildren.

And none of them miss Alices's breasts, they miss their MOTHER, MOTHER-IN-LAW, SISTER, GRANDMOTHER, COUSIN, and FRIEND.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

A great re-post from GAWKER re: Hopey feely cancer BS & a FB response

http://gawker.com/positivity-is-bullshit-when-you-have-cancer-1469975747



Both posters have got this RIGHT!



Friday, July 1, 2016

You're shitting me, right?


Well, it's time for my annual mammogram, and since last year was such a party, I thought I would reflect on this year's experience. You see, in 2015, when I entered the changing room at CAN'T MENTION THE HOSPITAL BY NAME BECAUSE OF LEGAL ISSUES located in a beautiful County in Pennsylvania, I saw that each patient changing room had been decorated with what looked like an explosion in the back room of a Victoria's Secret runway show.

So they gotta get a letter, right? Here are the highlights:
"I have lost one breast to cancer. In the waiting/changing room, I found the display of frilly sexy bras to be humiliating and depressing. Women are not just breasts, and yet, at the same time, your display says that women without breasts are not women. I want you to know that because of this humiliating experience I will never have another mammogram again.If the monster comes back I'll just let it kill me."

So, CAN'T MENTION THE HOSPITAL BY NAME BECAUSE OF LEGAL ISSUES wrote back to me and I quote: "I can assure you the issues you shared regarding the displays were discussed with the Sr. Director and those displays have been taken down."


So imagine my surprise, when I take my last three crappy hours of personal time to go to for my mammogram this year and the first thing I see is:


This isn't even cute, this is like a horror movie poster. Sure enough, the whole changing room is decorated like a bordello. I pointed to each display and said: "No, no, no, no, and no!" I turn to the nurses and tell them they will never see me in their facility again.

I hied myself over to the Executive Office and voiced my dissatisfaction. Loudly. I made a grown-ass woman cry and I'm not ashamed of it. (I mean, you lie to my face, and I will CUT you.)

In several days I receive a letter with the following: "It was a pleasure meeting you and I thank you for sharing your personal story with me. The staff at CAN'T MENTION THE HOSPITAL BY NAME BECAUSE OF LEGAL ISSUES is committed to patient safety and satisfaction. Whenever it is perceived that we have fallen short of meeting our mission we take a very serious look at what may have transpired. Your comments concerning the bra display at the other Outpatient Center were forwarded to the appropriate staff for review. Please know that a fund raiser event for cancer patients is the reason for the bra displays. Some of the displays are in memory of patients who had breast cancer. I am sorry that you perceived these displays to be insensitive.If the need should arise in the future, I hope that you will once again allow CAN'T MENTION THE HOSPITAL BY NAME BECAUSE OF LEGAL ISSUES the privilege of participating in your health care needs"

So, after re-loading, naturally I had to write a letter, right? Here are the highlights:

Dear Patient Relations,

Please tell me the name of the organization that provided the displays; I want to be sure that I never do business with them.

And let me be clear, I found the displays to be not only insensitive, but humiliating and callous. I expect more from a facility that has the words COMPASSION, INTEGRITY and RESPECT printed right on their Mission Statement.

In addition, because of the special scheduling time frames of this particular test, I had to utilize the last of my precious personal time off from work for this test. So I won't have the time to go to other Outpatient Center anyway, unless I take unpaid time, which does NOT sit well with my employer. In addition, why should I be inconvenienced by having to travel farther and use more gasoline? (Twice.)

Your staff expressly told me in WRITING that the displays had been removed, but it obviously they have not. This calls into question the integrity of your executive staff.

One of two things transpired: either the "displays" were in fact never removed and ya'll just blew glitter up my skirt, OR the same ignorant bunch came back and top brass okay'd this little horror scene because it made money.

Why not hold a raffle for something useful, like a shiny pink coffin? I think that might make some coin.

The fact that some of the displays were in memory of women who (presumably died from breast cancer) is a sick, tasteless joke. I couldn't be more appalled if someone engraved a plaque "In memory of Brenda's tits." Because really, that's the translation. Apparently that was the most important part of her: her boobs, hooters, fun-bags, ta-tas or the euphemism of your choice.

What really baffles me though, is that you and your staff apparently do not understand the statistics of mental health in this country. At least one in 10 people will experience a mental or behavioral health crisis in their lifetime. A cancer patient has a 25% chance of developing depression. Suicide--even among patients in remission (yeah, stop that NED crap, just stop it), is significantly higher than the national average. And a breast cancer patient has an 80% chance of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So I assumed that it would be obvious to you that not every woman is merrily skipping into your facility for a mammogram between lunch dates and shopping.

Some of us are sick. You should acknowledge that in every part of your facility. I don't understand why you can't grasp this concept. Haven't you watched television lately? Seems like a third of the nation is a whack-a-doodle. And a bunch of them own semi-automatic weapons. The rest are in politics.

I'm really surprised at this stupidity. I received nothing but exemplary care from the staff in the hospital, Dr. S., and nurses Lori and Deb (among others) in the infusion center. How do you think that Dr. S. and all of these other women would feel if they were to discover that my breast cancer returned, but because I was too traumatized to get a mammogram and it was too late to save me? Ponder on that one for awhile.

I'm sure that you hope that I will once again allow CAN'T MENTION THE HOSPITAL BY NAME BECAUSE OF LEGAL ISSUES the privilege to serve me. But I think the words you're looking for are: "We made a shit-ton of money off your insurance company and we hope you come back."

But one day, my friend, a light-bulb will go off and someone will ask: "Did all these women die under YOUR WATCH?"

Assholes.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Priorities

I recently read a Facebook post that had a lovely picture of a toddler by a swimming pool. The author (the child's mother) wrote: "It's so hot, the new pool is a blessing."

Listen,chica,


These are blessings:







This is NOT a BLESSING:

Either get your priorities straight or buy a motherfucking English language dictionary.

Monday, November 2, 2015

A visit to the sunny land of retirement.

Grace Chapter 3; verse 7-17

7. And, verily have I been to the fabled land of thrift shop T-shirts.


8. And I saw that it was filled with all matter of color and stripe.


9. And although it appearth to be brimming over with the gifts of the Lord, thy bounty overfloweth to the dresser drawers as well.


10. Yet I looked upon it without fear, but with resolve and courage that mine minion would moveth ye mountain back to its source. And then when the crescent moon shown in the sky, the seal of the closet of shoes would be broken.


11. And verily, in time, the 46 bars of soap would be consumed by the waters of the holy well.


12. And so for comfort, all of the sons and daughters of the land adorned themselves in their finest and did make the arduous trek to the land of Steinmart., which parking lot was arid and hot, but the market was as an oasis in the desert. And all manner of tribes did come to bargain.


13. Where at the souk thy merchants sold glorious and wondrous wares as not to have been seen in all the land. Except in the kingdom of China.


14. And on sale, even.


15. This strange land was filled with women whose hair was the color of the sky, and some had three, or even four limbs to walk upon.

16. Here in this land, the male warriors waited upon their women and lifted thine eyes unto the sky, devoutly praying that not all of their drachmas would be parted from them,

17. But that some would remain in order to buy a goddamn beer at thy next meal.


Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The second biggest Fucktard I have met through treatment

Dear Ms. Jane Doe:

Pursuant to my e-mail dated July 30, 2015,
I still require the names of the persons who provided my radiation treatment at the XYZ Facility Radiation Oncology Department.

I examined your brief curriculum vitae on Linkedin & saw that you attended both Rutgers University and Bryn Mawr College.

Considering this, I thought I might be able to provide some assistance in completing this task.

First, let us consider the word "Name"; now perhaps you missed the third grade, and were admitted to these schools by some other merit, (my imagination runs wild here), or perhaps you were too economically challenged to purchase an English language dictionary, so let's look at the definition:
NAME (noun): 1. A word or set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is known.

Now let's use it in a sentence. "The blonde woman named Jane has violated HIPPA regulations."

Here's another example: "Jane Doe, an employee of the XYZ Facility Radiation Oncology Department is-- and I quote Jon Stewart -- engaging in 'premeditated institutional bullshit designed to obscure and distract'." (You may wish to examine the previous sentence to note the correct use of a quote within a quote; you may also take note that this is a compound sentence that contains the proper use of the "dash", which is distinguished from a hyphen because it serves in place of a parenthetical phrase rather than linking two words together, such as "stupid-c**t".)

“PROVIDE” [(verb) 1. to make available for use,] my record as mandated by law.

Please obtain & provide the required records POSTHASTE (I'll leave you to discover the meaning of this word -- hint, it's an adverb); or I shall seek legal council against both you, the physician you work for, as well as that very special and renowned facility that you are employed by.


Have a nice day.