Your job as a parent – short version:

“Your job as a parent is not to make your kid happy, your job is to teach them to cope when life gives them a turd salad sandwich.” 

  

This issue comes up more frequently during the holiday season, when parents discuss what they are getting their kids for Christmas.

Now, you should know, that Christmas and kids, are two of my least favorite things on the planet, so when the two converge, I tend to get a even more cranky than usual -- like drive a railroad spike through my head, cranky. So when I overheard a co-worker say, juuuuuuust one too many times: “I want to make my daughter happy.” I found myself replying with above quoted turd salad reference.

So how do you teach them those coping skills? 

Let’s re-visit the expectations.  Are they reasonable and expected needs, (warm clothes, decent housing, books), or, are they whiny needy self-centered wants? ‘Cause I’m addressing the latter here, and I am specifically addressing those parents who are able to offer their children some assets beyond the bottom half of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. (Parents in lower socio-economic levels have other challenges, but the value of learning to cope with unmet expectations is the same.)

After you assess the expectations, start out by NOT GIVING THEM EVERYTHING THEY WANT.  Start by saying no.

                                   And, “NO”, my friends, is a complete answer.